[untranslatable]: Archive

elliot

The Sex-Horney Man ponderes to himslef……. Hmmm.. I wnat a femail to do a touch on my ween………” Hes phelosophy changes the world some day.

Feb 3rd

Nov 28th

components: Wanna get real scared? →

shamwow: februaryy: offices: ravingtangent: stripitdown: princess-necrophilia: bonewagon: weebstories: 1. Google “My OC, (your name )”. 2. Read about your escapades as Mary Sues and your romances with anime characters. 3. Cry yourself to sleep. Haha okay Arden is such a rare name… I actually really like mine...

Nov 16th

2,725 notes

doubtfiring on all cylinders

Sep 4th

choice texts from cameron

- Your mother was right about you- you’re an infuriating cocksucker. - You’re nothing but a candy-striper with legs as long as Kareem Abdul-Jabar’s pajama bottoms. - You could be my black Kate Moss tonight. - How are things, my thrice-cursed little mountebank? - You know what? You’re just portions for foxes. i think everything he sends me are quotes bc i only know about a...

Aug 20th

dozens

ros: yo momma so toothsome she has three rows of teeth alex: yo momma so beloved by dolphins they intentionally wreck her ship to be near her ros: yo momma so wise the dalai lama asks her for advice alex: yo momma so good at disguises there is no dalai lama ros: yo momma so elegant the moebius strip was almost named after her. however, as she is as humble as she is elegant, she suggested...

Jul 11th

Jun 21st

<me> sartre was wrong, hell is mscdirect <Ray> Psh. I had to process all of those MSC and J&L pages. <Ray> ALL OF THEM <me> do your eyes look like sam neill’s at the end of event horizon <Jason> first world problems <Jason> here is your violin <Ray> I get a violin out of this? <Ray> I suppose that’s ok. <me> hotspotting is...

Jun 21st

Mar 14th

another one

me: this panhandling guy i just walked past was saying “i need a verb, i need an action word” shaun: you should have said panhandle me: hahahaha oh my god that’s so cruel shaun: no its not its meta

Mar 14th

1 note

[paraphrased bc my outgoing texts got erased]

me: this hispanic woman just walked onto the train in a flurry of tumbling locks, clicking heels, and perfume. this older black guy leaned forward to check her out. she turned to sit down and was a dude. the man continues to leer intermittently, but idk if it’s bc of “sexy lady” “fagmo” or “sexy tranny” shaun: is she hot me: face is pretty typical of a...

Mar 14th

magic knight rare earth element

Oct 20th

<Bonehenge> hey h64 :-* <h64> AHURRRRRRRRRRRRR <h64> HEY BH <h64> 8======}) <h64> 8==}) <h64> 8}) <h64> ^ ME BALLS DEEP IN U <h64> %1B[4~}) <h64> }) <h64> OH SHI <Bonehenge> hahahahaha

Oct 20th

Oct 15th

it’s a punjab but somebody’s got to do it

Oct 11th

why doesn’t audrey hollander get her tits fixed

Sep 12th

riz ahmed is gives-me-chills gorgeous

Aug 11th

do i like nagel?

i think i like nagel

Jul 29th

Jul 23rd

i really wish i knew more about the ancient balts (and slavs, let’s be honest)

Jul 23rd

Jul 22nd

autumn leaves

all right, i knew the mad men theme song was by rjd2 and that aceyalone had rhymed over it, but i never knew what the main string sample was - turns out it’s actually a version of the old jazz standby autumn leaves (how many times did our combo play that), all fancified by a fellow (presumed bandleader) named enoch light. !!!!

Jul 22nd

oh god i just tried to read about the peopling of the indian subcontinent it’s exponentially more confusing than the peopling of the americas which is already harrrd somebody help me understand it also, gimme a torrent for http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Black-Mountain-Beat-Circus/dp/B002KBBG3M

Jul 8th

i went to babybling.com, it’s a UAE website for a store in dubai. for world rich babies

Jun 29th

http://www.mellotron.com/tapesele.htm →

cooool

May 29th

May 13th

most recent youtube vortexes (vortices?)

last one: boxer dogs playing initiating now: videos making fun of sandra lee delightful kwanzaa cake feat. corn nuts post script: i wish people hated giada with at least approaching the same level of hatred reserved for sandra

May 12th

May 3rd

Hitodenasi no Koi by Hiroaki Samura

this is my dream gift, for me

Apr 24th

1 note

Apr 22nd

Apr 21st

Apr 16th

Apr 12th

<ifw> why do you say nook > kindle? <Bonehenge> i don’t know, that was my impression <Bonehenge> i know nook lets you access all google books free <ifw> ooh <Bonehenge> so that’s like half a miyyon <ifw> I am just not fond of the touch screen <Bonehenge> oic <Bonehenge> yeah i dunno about dat <ifw> I prefer a physical keyboard...

Apr 10th

Apr 5th

Apr 2nd

Apr 1st

I know this is bad but there’s this annoying autistic kid with this severe gay dad who comes in sometimes and today he kept repeating this over and over: “Mufasa! Quick! Stampede! In the gorge! Simba’s down there! Simba!” and I couldn’t stop laughing

Apr 1st

i miss you a lot, tushar :(

Mar 26th

Mar 22nd

http://www.braintan.com/tanown/index.htm →

Nov 16th

JIMMEH WHALEZ

“Even though Wikipedia is one of the top 5 most visited websites in the world, we employ fewer than 35 people.” i mean i would never donate lol but damn

Nov 13th

Oh yeah! @ Eric

the annoying jew-kid who thinks all his opinions are super-engaging, yet well-reasoned, and possibly unique to him creed sucks except for “higher” which he will admit is good pulp fiction is a devastatingly good movie

Oct 26th

i wish the band franz ferdinand sucked more or was at least easier to parody because then i’d start a mock rival band called gavrilo princip

Oct 26th

WHOA MEATLOAF

holy shit. i just took meatloaf out of the oven and among the drippings there is a steady stream of completely uniform bubbles exiting. they are miniscule and so uniformly the same size that they make up small geometric bubble shields that collide with one another. this is insane

Oct 25th

i’m so sentimental about music history that i get misty reading a blurb review of a book about jimmie rodgers

Oct 25th

Fundamentally, I am physically incapable of obedience. When I am under the impression that an order is being given to me, something in me curdles and transforms itself into a painful mental nodule, wholly impassable. Since I am, for the most part, too cowardly for full-frontal confrontation, I evade the question, hinting that I will obey when the time comes. And then, at the last seond, without...

Oct 25th

i find it idunno insane, in that weird/thrilling/proud/loss/incongruous way, that young rich cool teens ask often about basshunter. i knew him from ytmnd and his first radio hit was “boten anna” (‘boten’ as in ‘bot’ as in irc). waaat it’s like a really lame version of 4chan’s trajectory. wait can that get lamer than it is

Oct 25th